Author Topic: Love making tips for seniors  (Read 1993 times)

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Offline iddee

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Love making tips for seniors
« on: April 26, 2015, 01:38:44 pm »
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
 
2. Set timer for three minutes, in case
you doze off in the middle.
 
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
 
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
 
5. Write partner?s name on your hand in case you can?t remember...
 
6.  Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
 
7. Have Tylenol or whatever else that you use ready in case you actually complete the act...
 
8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf too.
 
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news ... even if its 8 p.m.!
 
10.  Don't even think about trying it twice.
 
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, ?Let?s go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, ?Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you?re barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the  doctor instead of by the police.
 

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action? means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
?Getting lucky? means you find your car in the parking lot...
 

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter? means not getting up to use the bathroom.
 
'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.
 
      (I sent this in larger type so you can read it better.)
“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein

Offline Jen

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Re: Love making tips for seniors
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2015, 02:49:07 pm »
#7 - Oh! This is going to hurt  :D
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Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: Love making tips for seniors
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2015, 07:42:33 pm »
#7  If you have Oxygen available this might be possible!
Drinking RUM before noon makes you a PIRATE not an alcoholic!

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Offline Slowmodem

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Re: Love making tips for seniors
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2015, 08:05:13 pm »
ROFL  I've forwarded this to many people!  I love it!  (But of course, I'm not that old yet, either!)
Greg Whitehead
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