Author Topic: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to  (Read 4030 times)

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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2021, 09:48:49 am »
A boyfriend will fix you right up.   :yes:  ;D ;D

I'm not sure about that Iddee...he would be more likely than not to slow me down. The last one did his best to run me to financial ruin and just wanted a free farmhand/housekeeper/babysitter with a checkbook.

One thing I've learned since becoming single 5 years ago is that the majority of fellas (at least the one's I've met) have no interest in being helpful to me...they prefer the reverse where I cater to them and pamper them and treat them like a king and have no interests or duties of my own. I've become my own person and it's going to take one hades of a man to make me want to share my life with them at all. All of that said, I'll be honest enough to say that I've only dated 4 fellas in the past 5 years....so maybe Mr helpful gentleheart will appear one day but I ain't holding my breath. I left my doormat for a man days behind along with my floor length skirts and inability to tell a fella to kick rocks.

I'm just trying to figure out how to keep pushing myself to get things done when the things keep multiplying but my time and energy dwindle.

I totally agree Grandma. I kicked the last boyfriend to the curb in Feb 2011, 10 years ago, and focused on my business, home, took up beekeeping, grandkids, started collecting vehicles (that's a hoot), and yeah, I don't need someone looking for a nurse, waittress and housekeeper with a checkbook.   And at 50 you are really a young thing.  I am 61.

If you are tired, and spread too thin it is time to sort your priorities.

at the end of 2018 I quit doing removals, started stabilizing my hives, killing queens with nasty offspring and requeening, and I reduced my stress load. I also sold a few hives, I figured out that 3 was all my local forage would support, and that I didn't want a remote beeyard to have to drive to.   Then in 2019 I took the mean bees out of my neighbor's house and killed one more queen, replaced her with a good one. It was a free removal, I was pretty sure they came from my apiary, hot ones from a removal, and they were robbing my bees.  Then I retired from taking care of other peoples bee problems. A really nasty fall in October 2018 contributed to that, I dislocated several ribs, pulled my intercostal muscles and darn near broke my collarbone.  You have to limit what you do to what you can physically do and that does change as we get older.   And this is the best time to put on a pot of coffee and start listing what you want, today, and in 5 years

I did removals last season, but will likely only go after hanging swarms this year. I fell off a truck last June and tore up my right hand and shoulder so I have no choice but to rearrange a lot of things to accommodate the loss of strength on my dominant side. We have plenty of land and forage for what we plan without remote bee yards that aren't located on family land. My daughter and I still have plans to expand in a lot of ways, but much of that will have to wait until 2022 because we get a new grandbabee girl in the middle of this season.

LOL....collecting vehicles!! One of my side businesses is flipping cars...which is how I ended up with a really nice mercedes for $700 and still miss my giant diesel dually I drove all spring and summer  :laugh:   Like you I have thrown myself into my own life, kids and grands, businesses, and always working to learn more and more about more and more.

A "boyfriend" I have zero interest in...I don't need to scratch and itch or take on someone else who needs cared for. A true honest to goodness partner who is capable of love and emotional intelligence and honesty I would consider...but like I said, I don't date, rarely go anywhere, and live way out in the sticks so he will have to look hard  ;D

I have all sorts of plans, and goals, and timelines...somedays it's just a matter of pushing myself to keep going in one area or another. Today is going to be a do the things sitting down day because yesterday the daughter and I made our quarterly grocery trip to the amish and I carried too many 50 and 100 lb bags and boxes up the drive into the house and down the stairs for storage. Bakersdozen really gave me a boost by simply reminding me that its ok for me to not get it all done in one chop! I often forget to give myself grace and let myself cut things into smaller chores rather than attacking huge projects all at once.  I did learn that if I go out there and turn the radio on I end up enjoying myself so much more, stressing out about not getting it all done less, and actually end up getting more done in less time.

Offline Gypsi

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #21 on: January 13, 2021, 11:28:30 am »
That's the way to do it then.   I didn't fall doing a removal. I fell running carrying a large koi in a net on a pole in front of me, and I kept the fish up so I couldn't save myself. But the fish was ok.  Ground was irregular and I shouldn't have been running
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2021, 01:15:41 pm »
That's the way to do it then.   I didn't fall doing a removal. I fell running carrying a large koi in a net on a pole in front of me, and I kept the fish up so I couldn't save myself. But the fish was ok.  Ground was irregular and I shouldn't have been running

I didn't fall doing a removal either...I have never fallen doing a removal, even with a veil filled with angry bees while standing 20ft high on an extension ladder. Me trying to unload a crated set of bunkbeds all by my less than 100lb self (admittedly stupid decision) from the bed of 3/4 ton dodge dually caused the damage. I was foolish enough to try to catch the crate as it and I fell. It dislocated my right shoulder, fractured my right elbow, and caused multiple fractures in my hand. Thankfully my daughter was on the phone with my 4 year old grandson when it happened and was only a few miles away. The worst feeling of it all was watching my sweet little grandboys who were living with me for the spring and summer trying to push the crate off of me and crying. It took 2 weeks to get them to sleep in those beds.  :'(

Offline Gypsi

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2021, 08:37:21 pm »
That's just so sad.  I learned some time ago to just let things fall unless there is a living thing under it.   Some things you can't stop. I've also built my muscles up some. I weigh 135 lbs now and that helps a little. Need to get my cardio going again.
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #24 on: January 14, 2021, 09:45:53 am »
That's just so sad.  I learned some time ago to just let things fall unless there is a living thing under it.   Some things you can't stop. I've also built my muscles up some. I weigh 135 lbs now and that helps a little. Need to get my cardio going again.

It was terribly sad. The older grandson there that day is an autistic 8 year old, and it really threw him into a difficult mood for weeks, the 4 year old layed the phone down on the gravel beside me and kept yelling at my daughter to hurry while he was crying and trying to move the crate. I didn't intend to try to catch it, I think it was just reflex because it fell in the direction the boys were standing and I was afraid they would get hurt. Since moving back onto the ranch I'm definitely building more muscle, but trying to gain weight is a nightmare...I'm hoping to get back up to 110 before summer. I'm not allowed to cardio anymore, I can do pretty much whatever I want as long as I keep my heartrate as close to normal as possible. If I let my pulse go too fast I end up passing out and I hate it....involuntary naps are no fair!

I guess I missed the lessons on aging gracefully   :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Offline Gypsi

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #25 on: February 06, 2021, 01:11:04 am »
Aging gracefully is for people that like to sit down. I don't sit down very much.
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #26 on: February 06, 2021, 05:03:24 pm »
Aging gracefully is for people that like to sit down. I don't sit down very much.

LOL...that must be why I can't catch on to the gracefully part then  :laugh:

Offline Gypsi

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #27 on: March 31, 2021, 11:24:01 pm »
Aging gracefully is for people that like to sit down. I don't sit down very much.

LOL...that must be why I can't catch on to the gracefully part then  :laugh:


Probably - and me too
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Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2021, 11:05:01 pm »
Well, I am chiming in late young lady..   I hit 57 this year.. I havent stopped moving for three years for more than fifteen minutes... NOW.. things look like they are about to start slowing down just a bit and mellowing out...    As far as motivation??? I NEVER have motivation...  My wife has this horse whip, and it makes an evil sinister sound when it glides through her fingers....   Never have to hear it crack i always land running flat out toward whatever it was she wanted done.....   The only bonus in that, is that the things SHE wants done are typically the same things I want done, but don't have the energy to do....    I heard her tell a friend a couple weeks ago... 

Wife; We need another garage!
 Friend.. THATS a lot of work!
Wife... Not really. I order the materials, go to work, come home.. POOF new garage!

   I can sympathize only through imagination on losing my wife, what it would be like to try to meet someone new...    We have been together for 34 years...  If I ever end up without her, there is NO WAY I am going to allow another one to train me. Good friends, plenty of bees, and someone I can hire to do maintenance and cut the grass.. Oh, and rum! Don't forget the rum!
Drinking RUM before noon makes you a PIRATE not an alcoholic!
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #29 on: May 04, 2021, 01:38:15 pm »
Well, I am chiming in late young lady..   I hit 57 this year.. I havent stopped moving for three years for more than fifteen minutes... NOW.. things look like they are about to start slowing down just a bit and mellowing out...    As far as motivation??? I NEVER have motivation...  My wife has this horse whip, and it makes an evil sinister sound when it glides through her fingers....   Never have to hear it crack i always land running flat out toward whatever it was she wanted done.....   The only bonus in that, is that the things SHE wants done are typically the same things I want done, but don't have the energy to do....    I heard her tell a friend a couple weeks ago... 

Wife; We need another garage!
 Friend.. THATS a lot of work!
Wife... Not really. I order the materials, go to work, come home.. POOF new garage!

   I can sympathize only through imagination on losing my wife, what it would be like to try to meet someone new...    We have been together for 34 years...  If I ever end up without her, there is NO WAY I am going to allow another one to train me. Good friends, plenty of bees, and someone I can hire to do maintenance and cut the grass.. Oh, and rum! Don't forget the rum!

I'm terribly late in replying! Life has been super busy in every direction. We will have a new grandbabee girl in the house in the next few weeks...I'm betting on 2 weeks or less. Business forced me to take a very hurried trip to NW Alabama for a very hectic week of meetings. Then I hurried back home to help finish rearranging the house for the birth (homebirth this time). I did manage to do a quick inspection on our colonies and as soon as the rain stops and I can get more equipment hauled back to the bee yard I'll be making splits, lots of them! All of  our colonies wintered over very well despite the crazy weather we've had so far this year. I'm learning to tackle things in smaller pieces and so far that is working very well for me. Once my daughter has the baby and gets back to her normal self I'm sure we will both be extra busy playing catch up in the bee yards.

I was married for over 25 years, his running off with a 28 year old ended that, and made a lot of things very challenging to kickstart all over again. I came out stronger for it all though, but much less likely to give anyone else the chance to do such a thing ever again. I have really learned to enjoy my time alone, life is much more peaceful that way! Hmmm, rum...now that sounds like a good way to pass a lazy day fishing  :)


Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #30 on: May 04, 2021, 08:27:53 pm »
Wait, you like fishing? And that guy ran off????  What an idiot.....    :yes:
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #31 on: May 05, 2021, 12:26:43 pm »
Wait, you like fishing? And that guy ran off????  What an idiot.....    :yes:

Heck yeah I LOVE fishing, and hunting, and just about anything not chaining me to the house! LOL, he is an idiot, but I'm free of that trainwreck as are my children. We are all much better off without his mess.

The rain has finally stopped and I'm hoping the ground will firm up enough for me to get back into the bee yards soon! My SIL and I are plotting spots to place more swarm traps after we get fences repaired from all of the storms and move the cattle over to the other side of the property. Never a dull moment here...just hoping that babee waits until we get the heavy chores done to make her appearance!

Offline The15thMember

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #32 on: May 07, 2021, 10:12:02 am »
I'm terribly late in replying! Life has been super busy in every direction. We will have a new grandbabee girl in the house in the next few weeks...I'm betting on 2 weeks or less. Business forced me to take a very hurried trip to NW Alabama for a very hectic week of meetings. Then I hurried back home to help finish rearranging the house for the birth (homebirth this time). I did manage to do a quick inspection on our colonies and as soon as the rain stops and I can get more equipment hauled back to the bee yard I'll be making splits, lots of them! All of  our colonies wintered over very well despite the crazy weather we've had so far this year. I'm learning to tackle things in smaller pieces and so far that is working very well for me. Once my daughter has the baby and gets back to her normal self I'm sure we will both be extra busy playing catch up in the bee yards. 
Nothing to keep you busy and motivated like little ones running around!  It's really cool that your daughter is having the baby at home.  When I have children, I'd like to do that if possible.       
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #33 on: May 07, 2021, 05:34:08 pm »
I'm terribly late in replying! Life has been super busy in every direction. We will have a new grandbabee girl in the house in the next few weeks...I'm betting on 2 weeks or less. Business forced me to take a very hurried trip to NW Alabama for a very hectic week of meetings. Then I hurried back home to help finish rearranging the house for the birth (homebirth this time). I did manage to do a quick inspection on our colonies and as soon as the rain stops and I can get more equipment hauled back to the bee yard I'll be making splits, lots of them! All of  our colonies wintered over very well despite the crazy weather we've had so far this year. I'm learning to tackle things in smaller pieces and so far that is working very well for me. Once my daughter has the baby and gets back to her normal self I'm sure we will both be extra busy playing catch up in the bee yards. 
Nothing to keep you busy and motivated like little ones running around!  It's really cool that your daughter is having the baby at home.  When I have children, I'd like to do that if possible.       

We are excited about the homebirth, it's been DD's dream since she was very young. She gave in to her hubby's worrying and had the first two in the hospital with a midwife there. This time she put her foot down and said plainly that she wasn't doing it again...she's a strongwilled woman. She ended her argument with the statement that she barely made it there in time with the last one and she isn't delivering on the side of the highway, and that he could go to the hospital and sit there by himself if he wanted to.

Homebirthing is actually easier from a legal perspective in NC than it is here in MO. As long as you are healthy and willing to work with your body as you labor most often homebirths are a beautiful experience, but it's important to have a fast way to transport to the hospital if problems arise. An experienced midwife is a must, especially for the first few children!

Offline Bakersdozen

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #34 on: May 08, 2021, 07:35:25 am »
This thread "How do you keep pushing ..." is taking a turn to a whole new meaning!  :laugh:
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Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #35 on: May 09, 2021, 09:14:02 pm »
LOL Topic is still the same! But the meaning has been changed to protect the innocent!
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #36 on: May 11, 2021, 11:39:57 am »
This thread "How do you keep pushing ..." is taking a turn to a whole new meaning!  :laugh:

True words Bakers! It seems that lately most things in life have taken on a whole new meaning for us though! DD has been having pretty strong on and off contractions for the past few days, so I don't think we have much longer to wait. For me that means doing windsprints to get out in the mornings and evenings to take care of the critters, and now SIL and I have to split chores instead of working together so that DD is not alone in the house since we have such spotty cell service across much of the property.

Pushing on has become less of a burden and more of a game of roulette in a lot of ways. DD is frustrated that she can't get out and do a lot of the things that are normally her responsibility, and she is definitely tired of carrying her baby girl internally and ready to "just do this thing and get it over with". She is mad that she can't work her bees right now...and grumbles LOUDLY about that every time she sees me head any direction that may mean she is missing out on bee chores. None of us are sleeping very soundly despite being exhausted at the end of every day for fear of being too hard to stir back into full consciousness in time to catch the babee.  I'm right there with my baby beek all grown up and feeling so very ready to greet our tiny new one!

Boy, talk about thread drift!! This one has taken on a life of it's own...thank you everyone for your input and comments! It has most definitely been helpful to this tired MeMaw to have "ears to listen"  :yes:

Offline Bakersdozen

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #37 on: May 12, 2021, 08:53:09 am »
Grandma Bear, best wishes to all.  Sounds like a wonderful blessing will soon be here.
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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #38 on: May 12, 2021, 12:15:09 pm »
Hi Gramma! You sure got a lot of input and guidance on this post  ;)
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