mikey,
first, i give you a lot of credit for recognizing the male carpenter bee vs the female carpenters! and for not wanting to spray them, but..........
they are and can be destructive.
the males cannot sting.....the females can. not sure what the 'right' answer is here; considering that you are removing a wooden ramp on an outside deck, with a potential nest with eggs in the material (construction debris), i think your only alternative is to spray them.