Author Topic: Kids....................  (Read 1608 times)

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Offline iddee

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« on: December 18, 2013, 12:39:38 pm »
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
It read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'


It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, 'What'd he do?

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein

Offline apisbees

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Re: Kids....................
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2013, 03:42:28 am »
thanks Iddee. got to love what comes out of the mouths of of our children.
Honey Judge, Beekeeping Display Coordinator, Armstrong Fair and Rodeo.

Offline pistolpete

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Re: Kids....................
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2014, 10:36:55 pm »
my kids come up with some pretty good ones, but my favorite was when my oldest was about 3 years old.  She was sad that I had to go to work, so I explained that I had to work so that we could have money for food and clothes.  She replied "well, we can just go to the bank and get money" 
My advice: worth price charged :)

Offline Slowmodem

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Re: Kids....................
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2014, 11:40:12 pm »
I remember my first wife's little girl (5 years old at the time) saying once that she hated winter, because the trees were full of emptiness.
Greg Whitehead
Ten Mile, TN
Beekeeping at 26.4 kbs

Offline Perry

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Re: Kids....................
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2014, 07:03:46 am »
I remember my first wife's little girl (5 years old at the time) saying once that she hated winter, because the trees were full of emptiness.
Wow! Now there is a future poet or something for sure. That's nice.  :)
"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor."      
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