thanks to all for the replies.....you are all, in one way or another my 'scout bees' and 'guardian angels' here looking out for me, i appreciate it, and i appreciate the replies, and each of the thoughts and support expressed.
"
I have this daring trusting side where I would want to sit in the bee yard at a distance from the hives, in a pair of jeans and a tank top, sandles, with the warm sun on my face and the hum in the air... knowing that the bees already know that you are uneasy and scared. And letting them bring you slowly back to visit them with confidence and love. The bees know Riv... they already know what you want and need. Take your time..."Then there is Scott's way...
Mix a pirate drink. Take a sip. Wander out to the hives. Breath the honey air. Take a sip. Unfold a chair and sit a spell, put your feet up on a stump. Relax. Take another sip. Know that it's gonna be okay...
and scott:
"because I would run right out and get stung. I know its a strange thing to say and do, but I would probably enjoy that sting so much I would cry."
thanks jen, some wondrous 'poetry' in your words. i have already done sitting at a distance from the hives, and the 'pirate thing'.....lawn chair, sit a great spell, a sip, relax and enjoy, especially in the evenings when everything is still and quiet, a mist coming off the river, sun going down behind the ridge, and the bees coming in and quieting down for the evening.
thanks scott (and like dennis said the suspense) , it's not strange scott, i wanted to run right out right away and take the first sting. when i do i know i will cry in great joy.
lazy shooter, i will share my first visit to the bees with pics if i can.....
ef, thank you, i looked forward to a reply from you knowing what your children had been through, and your post was comforting to me.
i went through all my protectivie gear, coveralls, veil, gloves. i thought maybe i had shrunk my coveralls, but guess it is fat cells and winter pack weight. some of my gloves are pretty stiff, stand up by themselves and have seen better days so i ordered new ones. (blue, love those meyer gloves).
i went through all of my equipment for about 4 or 5 days to organize my bee shed, and to go through all of my deeps and supers and to cull any old frames. i came across two frame jigs, one i am going to gift out when i get a chance to visit him......the other......this is for jack.....jack, i dusted off an old frame jig for wiring and embedding foundation and i hate to admit it but i had forgotten and discovered that the majority of my honey supers still contain beeswax drawn foundation. i really thought i had replaced more of this with you know what, and haven't. the jig brought back memories, and i hate to admit it but thought of you......
do you want the jig?...........
i am down to one hive to care for right now.
two years ago, (2012) i had 10 strong healthy hives and despite my allergy and with little management, took off a good honey crop. 6 hives i managed to farm out, out of those 6, between re-queening and dividing, another winter, 4 came through this winter and were divided and are still under the care of a good beek friend in minnesota. i will leave them where they are for now, in very good care. one hive i lost in the fall of 2012, i am quite certain she was queen-less. late last summer we picked up an awesome swarm, so we went into winter with 3 remaining hives. these 3 came through winter until april. one hive appeared to have suffered from nosema. the swarm hive....well, she could have been saved if only i could have added a deep of honey to her, she starved. i was so very sad and angry at my complete loss of not being able to manage properly. angry is really not a good description, maybe frustration. the one hive i have now? the queen? doesn't matter if she is the original or mutt, she sure is hanging in there with me!
perhaps it is best for me now to have one hive to care for and manage to help me get back into keeping bees again and also helping out a great new beek and member close to me.....
like jen said...
"warm sun on my face and the hum in the air... knowing that the bees already know that you are uneasy and scared. And letting them bring you slowly back to visit them with confidence and love".