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Author Topic: Question from the wife  (Read 14726 times)

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Offline rt1068

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #40 on: September 06, 2016, 12:52:04 pm »
A sense of humor is one thing I have plenty of.  Life is too short to be serious all the time. :D
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Offline Jen

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #41 on: September 06, 2016, 01:25:13 pm »


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Offline rt1068

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #42 on: September 06, 2016, 01:31:16 pm »
Great advice  :laugh:  Not as much fun, but good advice
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Offline neillsayers

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #43 on: September 06, 2016, 04:08:41 pm »
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Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #44 on: September 06, 2016, 04:08:51 pm »
My wife once STUCK a regular screwdriver right between my eyes. I had to pull it out of my forehead!!!   I honestly do not think i have ever seen her laugh that hard..   Well, except for the electric dog collar incident, but we wont go there....
   In her defense.. she was just "tossing" it to me when i was wiring the new house in Maine...   However... she did "TOSS" it, overhand, it hit a rafter, went between my fingers and THUD....   Blood dripping from the rafters.....
   As much as I call her mean, I honestly believe I used up every bit of good luck I will ever have when i met her.  It's still fun to pick on her, because I can run faster, and have WAY too many places to hide for a few days in this neck of the woods.   The truly unfortunate part of being "home" is that all my friends now know her, and love her to death, and are WAY too willing to AID her when she is hunting me down.
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Offline Green bee

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #45 on: September 06, 2016, 04:47:00 pm »
Ok lazy you have our attention, let's do go there. :t3816:
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Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #46 on: September 06, 2016, 05:39:30 pm »
I have posted it somewhere else I think, but can post it here, for the....  humor value...   I have learned humility over the years of marriage,and can now look back, and laugh at things I really did not think were funny at the time...

   At one time, I raised English Springer Spaniels, and trained them...   It is how my wife and I got to meet and become friends with George and Barbara Bush...  but that is another story...
   
   Once in a great while, I had a dog to train that no matter what I tried, they... ignored me. I needed a way to get their attention, so i ordered a Tri Tronics shocking collar...  It arrived Via UPS, and I found it on the step when I got home that night.. wife was making dinner, kids were out running around somewhere.. i opened the box, looked it all over, and saw that the collar itself came with several “pins” of different colors. Each pin had a different resistance, and would deliver more or less chock, depending on what the dog needed..
   I loved those dogs, they were some of the best dogs I had ever worked with, so i was not about to just slap this thing on them and start pushing the button..
   the instructions said, the battery was charged, but to plug it in overnight... OK, but, i wanted to test it.. I put the lowest rated pin in the collar, put it on my arm, and pushe dthe button on the remote..   I could barely feel it.. i put it on my neck... not much different.. I moved up a couple pins and tried it again...   My thought at that time, was, that this is ridiculous! I was wondering if a dog would even notice the shock if it was excited, chasing a deer or a rabbit etc...
   I moved up a couple more pins.. still not much worth mention..  Being a Mechanic, i have been zapped by spark plug wires, and THAT is sort of what i expected, maybe with a little less bite...   A little disappointed, I put the RED pin in, put the collar on my neck and pushed the button..

  My wife was watching, as she did dishes, mildly amused...  the mild part changed, when i pushed the button with the red pin...
   I threw the collar across the room... Kicke dthe dining room table over, WHILE I somehow also managed to flip over backwards in my chair, slide across the kitchen on my back and end up piled against the wall wondering WHAT THE &%#%$ just happened?”
   As I was once again able to think, and see... the first thing I see, is my wife, sitting on her butt, her feet kicking as she made a funny EEEE    EEEEE    EEEEE  sound while holding her stomach...
   I REALLY REALLY did not see the humor... No way...  That danged thing BIT HARD, it felt like you got kicked in the neck by a mule.. a BIG ANGRY mule!
   I graowled something at her, and her laughter started to subside, as I un tangled myself and stood up. I put my hands on my hips to glare at her, still sitting on the floor trying to catch her breath...  she looked at me, and her eyes widened, and she let out a little, sort of WAIL sound, that quickly returned to the EEEE    EEEE   EEEE   EEEE sounds, while her feet kicked and she flopped around on the floor, with REAL tears falling from her eyes....
   I looked down, to see....  the front of my pants soaking wet......
   Needless to say, I threw away the RED pin, and I had to HIDE, the stupid shock collar.. Whenever she saw it, she started giggling uncontrollably...  TO THIS VERY DAY, if she sees one of those stupid things she giggles, and asks me if I want to test it.....
   Women NEVER forget anything!
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Offline Green bee

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #47 on: September 06, 2016, 05:49:36 pm »
My word lazy I would have loved to been a fly on the wall   :laugh: :laugh: And I want even ask about the Bush's. The way you can tell a story I would love to sit on the porch and listen to some of those. Thanks for a good laugh! :laugh: :laugh:
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Offline Mikey N.C.

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #48 on: September 06, 2016, 07:24:05 pm »
Rt , when i was growing up . My mother an most teased their hair with a comb.  :yes: :yes:
So  Jen inquiring minds wants to know was the brush made of stone  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Jen i'm joking good thread.


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Offline neillsayers

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #49 on: September 06, 2016, 07:33:17 pm »
rt1068,

When I read the topic line I was expecting a question like, " Have you taken leave of your senses?!" :)


Lazy, I showed your post to Sweet Wife and she also convulsed into paroxysms of laughter. When she caught her breath she said, "That's something you would do!"

Sometimes I think the only reason they keep us around is for entertainment purposes! :D
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Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #50 on: September 06, 2016, 07:45:43 pm »
Neil....  Your point has hit me kind of hard...  I think your on to something!!  I have often wondered why she kept me around... i once thought it was because she liked to physically HURT me, but now.. i am wondering if it is just because I make her laugh... "AT" me..............
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Offline Mikey N.C.

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #51 on: September 06, 2016, 07:54:58 pm »
Great story, girlfriend was  rolling as much as your wife. Probably not
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Offline Green bee

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #52 on: September 06, 2016, 08:05:56 pm »
My wife keeps me around because I have the body of a Greek god! ;D ;D ;D
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

Offline Jen

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2016, 09:05:44 pm »
The body of a greek god is nice to look at, but so is a top sirlion bacon hamburger. They both last about the same amount of  time. Show me a man painting the exterior of my house and he'll see some action BADDA BING BABY!!!
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Offline Green bee

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #54 on: September 06, 2016, 09:11:04 pm »
Well I don't really have the body of a Greek god, most likely because of those hamburgers. But it sounded good. :-[
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

Offline Jen

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #55 on: September 06, 2016, 09:16:50 pm »
Awe Green, I love hamburgers too  ;) 8) especially with grilled onions and plenty of mayo  ;D
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Offline Green bee

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2016, 09:21:22 pm »
 :occasion14:
Quote from: Jen on September 06, 2016, 09:16:50 pm
Awe Green, I love hamburgers too  ;) 8) especially with grilled onions and plenty of mayo  ;D
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein

Offline Nugget Shooter

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #57 on: September 06, 2016, 10:05:31 pm »
Now that (having done some doozies myself) was a great read LazyBkpr and is was laughing like a fool enough that my girlfriend read it and same result. I have a vivid imagination and was there with ya man, thanks for a well needed laugh. At your expense even.....
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Offline Les

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #58 on: September 06, 2016, 10:15:48 pm »
I wanted to raise chickens and keep bees.  When I realized I couldn't leave the chickens unattended, the bees won!
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Offline Jen

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Re: Question from the wife
« Reply #59 on: September 06, 2016, 10:16:42 pm »
LzyBkpr and Dunkel are my favorite story tellers. Would like for LzyBkpr to again tell the story of when he was just learning about beekeeping and his mentor. Then, Dunkels story about his basement, bees and a skunk.

I'm sure those stories are in the archives here ~~ maybe we can find them?
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