The Picture PistolPete posted of his three girls prompted this..
I only had one daughter, THANK the stars above!!!!! I cant imagine having THREE beautiful girls...
So lets hear the terrified Boyfriend stories? Boyfriend will = BF from here forward;
My son took daughters boyfriend for a walk.. They came to a car in a field. BF asks...
"What is this all about?"
Son replies. " This is just a scenario."
BF.. " A what?"
"Son.. "A scenario.. You see that little red dot on that watermelon thats representing a boyfriends head?"
"A what? Why would ........."
BF usually falls down covered with watermelon, son just sighs and wipes off watermelon splatter.
BF "WHAT THE *&%$ was that?"
Son. "I told you, a Scenario."
"BF A SCENARIO OF WHAT!?"
" I'ts a hit my sister Scenario. See that little red dot on your chest?"
A lot of funny things happen in that moment, usually climbing crawling and running. At which time I walk up and give rule number one.
ME> Rule Number one. You are free to argue with her, Fight with her, disagree with her, be angry at her, Break up with her or divorce her. But from this day forward, there will be no physical violence. Hit her, or harm her, and you will wish an angry bear had its way with you."
Sometimes, they get angry and yell at me, sometimes they are moe accepting, either way, I point out the little red dot on their chest again...
BF = "What the!!! That wasn't you?"
ME> "Nope, thats mother bear herself. Have you ever seen an angry mother bear protecting her cubs? I like up close and personal, but she likes range and distance. She can shoot WAY better than I can. You and I can be best friends. Go fishing, hunting, have a few beers at family get togethers etc, or we can be mortal enemies. Remember rule number one."
Daughter was getting ready for a date.... I was watching TV, wife was nesting.. (Nesting = Puttering around cleaning, vacuuming, rearranging things)
Horn honks outside... A few moments later... horn honks again... a few moments later.... horn honks longer.... I get up, go find daughter in shower... horn honks longer and multiple times... I walk outside... to the door of a firebird, half of it is rotted away, music blaring. I stand by window until he rolls the window down, then turns music down...
ME> "Honk that horn again Im going to stuff it up your &$$."
BF> "What the &^%# is your problem old man?"
Wife runs out of house to find BF laying on sidewalk bleeding profusely from the nose... Daughter comes out as he rounds the corner up the block, tires squealing...
Oh man did I get in trouble for that one... but I would do it again tomorrow. (Insert Evil smiley here)
