Author Topic: Daughters!  (Read 2132 times)

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Offline LazyBkpr

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« on: January 25, 2014, 10:08:01 am »
The Picture PistolPete posted of his three girls prompted this..
   I only had one daughter, THANK the stars above!!!!!  I cant imagine having THREE beautiful girls...

   So lets hear the terrified Boyfriend stories?  Boyfriend will = BF from here forward;


   My son took daughters boyfriend for a walk..  They came to a car in a field. BF asks... 
   "What is this all about?"
   Son replies. " This is just a scenario."
   BF.. " A what?"
   "Son..  "A scenario.. You see that little red dot on that watermelon thats representing a boyfriends head?"
   "A what? Why would ........."
   BF usually falls down covered with watermelon, son just sighs and wipes off watermelon splatter.
   BF "WHAT THE *&%$ was that?"
   Son. "I told you, a Scenario."
   " I'ts a hit my sister Scenario. See that little red dot on your chest?"

   A lot of funny things happen in that moment, usually climbing crawling and running.  At which time I walk up and give rule number one.

     ME>  Rule Number one. You are free to argue with her, Fight with her, disagree with her,  be angry at her, Break up with her or divorce her. But from this day forward, there will be no physical violence. Hit her, or harm her, and you will wish an angry bear had its way with you."

   Sometimes, they get angry and yell at me, sometimes they are moe accepting, either way, I point out the little red dot on their chest again...

   BF = "What the!!!  That wasn't you?"
  ME> "Nope, thats mother bear herself. Have you ever seen an angry mother bear protecting her cubs?  I like up close and personal, but she likes range and distance. She can shoot WAY better than I can. You and I can be best friends. Go fishing, hunting, have a few beers at family get togethers etc, or we can be mortal enemies. Remember rule number one."

   Daughter was getting ready for a date....  I was watching TV, wife was nesting..  (Nesting = Puttering around cleaning, vacuuming, rearranging things)
   Horn honks outside...  A few moments later... horn honks again...   a few moments later....   horn honks longer....  I get up, go find daughter in shower... horn honks longer and multiple times...   I walk outside... to the door of a firebird, half of it is rotted away, music blaring. I stand by window until he rolls the window down, then turns music down...
  ME>  "Honk that horn again Im going to stuff it up your &$$."
   BF>  "What the &^%# is your problem old man?"

   Wife runs out of house to find BF laying on sidewalk bleeding profusely from the nose...  Daughter comes out as he rounds the corner up the block, tires squealing...

    Oh man did I get in trouble for that one... but I would do it again tomorrow.  (Insert Evil smiley here)

Drinking RUM before noon makes you a PIRATE not an alcoholic!

Offline iddee

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2014, 10:51:06 am »
Horn honks.... I go outside, state loudly, "We don't give curb service here".
Go back inside and tell daughter to sit until he gets to the door.

Didn't take long for them both to learn.
“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein

Offline blueblood

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2014, 10:53:42 am »
I have four daughters.  3 of them are teens.  I have to tell ya, I am not fond of boys hanging around.  Truthfully, I don't think they feel comfortable hanging around the house of a copper's daughter,,,hehehe! 

Offline pistolpete

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2014, 11:47:34 am »
Yes, things will get very interesting around here in about seven or eight years.  My plan to deal with it: be a good role model and give them the emotional support they need.  I hope to raise them to have the self confidence to stand up for themselves.   Failing that, I guess I'll have to send my wife to sniper school.
My advice: worth price charged :)

Offline DMLinton

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2014, 02:44:31 pm »
I don't have to worry too much about my second daughter, now 18.  I never did get the full story but apparently one guy she was dating and her were playing about one day, he got a bit rough and she put him in the hospital.
Regards, Dennis
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Offline Marbees

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2014, 03:19:15 pm »
I don't have to worry too much about my second daughter, now 18.  I never did get the full story but apparently one guy she was dating and her were playing about one day, he got a bit rough and she put him in the hospital.
Atta girl  :D
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Offline G3farms

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2014, 04:55:06 pm »
One of my good friends (Dale) daughter was dating a trashy looking older guy. Now dale is a very large fella to say the least and kind of scary looking to boot, but really just a big teddy bear. Dale had enough of the older trashy looking BF and one night when he came over to pick up the daughter he was sitting in the kitchen cleaning his deer rifle. Had a round in the chamber and worked the bolt to eject it across the floor towards the BF. He bends down to pick it up and notices his name written on it with a sharpie...............

BF..."What's this?"
Dale..."What is it?"
BF..."It has my name on it"
Dale..."Must mean it is for you then"....just gives one of those little smirky grins and laughs

Dale said for some reason they broke up that evening and she was home early to boot.

I got four daughters myself, most of the boys never would come around much. My girls are meaner than stripped snakes anyway.
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Offline brooksbeefarm

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Re: Daughters!
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2014, 08:07:32 pm »
My brothers son a big burly 6 ft. 225 has 3 girls and said he tells their boy friends that he wants them to have a good time, and his girls never lie to him about anything. So remember what i tell you, What ever you do out of line to her i'll do it to you. ;D :laugh: . Jack