Author Topic: stranded  (Read 2006 times)

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Offline Dunkel

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stranded
« on: March 16, 2014, 11:03:00 am »
One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets
closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then
even a raft.

Suddenly emerging from the surf comes a drop-dead gorgeous blond wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years",replies the Irishman.

With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that good!"

"And, how long has it been since you've had a sip of whiskey?" she asks him.Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says,
"Tis absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
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Offline Slowmodem

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Re: stranded
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2014, 03:29:44 pm »
Fore!  :D
Greg Whitehead
Ten Mile, TN
Beekeeping at 26.4 kbs

Offline riverbee

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Re: stranded
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2014, 06:23:42 pm »
"Fore!  :D"

nope, MULLIGAN.......... :D
i keep wild things in a box..........™
if you obey the rules, you miss all the fun.....katherine hepburn
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Offline Perry

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Re: stranded
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2014, 07:02:58 pm »
Good joke, but for the life of me I cannot understand this passion people have with whacking a ball around a lawn, spending big bucks to get all frustrated.
Why not just go for a nice walk in a meadow and watch the pollinators?
I'll go to the back of the bus and join Jack now.  ;D
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Offline Dunkel

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Re: stranded
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2014, 07:58:18 pm »
I'm with you Perry, St. Patrick's Day and all though.  I can see the attraction about playing against yourself, sort of a competition.  A lot like getting thirty hives through winter.

Offline LazyBkpr

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Re: stranded
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2014, 12:10:59 am »
LOL
  My grandpa taught me to golf. I had some used clubs, and occasionally played..  I will say, I have probably laughed harder when golfing than most other sports I have been involved in..  of course, back then you could take your cooler on the cart with you filled with beer...
   Watching your buddy swing, and lift a hand to shade his eyes, looking for the ball as I fall out of the cart laughing... because he missed the ball completely...
  OR tee up, and turn to see the cart rolling backwards toward the pond.. while your buddy fishes in the cooler, oblivious to the fact that he is about to...  NOPE, he knows now, hes wet!!!
   Watching another buddy RUN for the woods...   Tip here.. if YOU have to run for the woods, do NOT yell back, and tell your "friends" that you "didnt make it" or you will eventually emerge from the trees to find them... No, not laughing, but already back at the club house sitting at the bar.... arguing over whos giving you a ride home...

   I inherited my grandfathers clubs, and I WILL go play golf if invited, but it is not something I feel passionate about.. of course.. now the guys I might golf with have these drivers with heads that are the size of a small child, and cost about the same amount as adopting that small child...
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Offline Bsweet

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Re: stranded
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2014, 10:38:23 pm »
I learned as a wee child that if you was going to whack a ball with a stick there better be someone down range to throw it back. Jim
What 5 second rule??? I have rollover minutes

Offline riverbee

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Re: stranded
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2014, 10:41:05 pm »
"Good joke, but for the life of me I cannot understand this passion people have with whacking a ball around a lawn, spending big bucks to get all frustrated. Why not just go for a nice walk in a meadow and watch the pollinators? I'll go to the back of the bus and join Jack now.  ;D"

aw perry i don't get the golfing thing either, mini golf is fun, but like anything else.....and besides you can't figure out why i wander around rivers fishing either...... :D

here's how i 'golf' nowadays, the dang walnut trees? i get whatever club is available and whack the walnuts off the lawn in the back forty out into the woods........rather than bending over a thousand times.....get's the job done and works for me!!!...... :D
i keep wild things in a box..........™
if you obey the rules, you miss all the fun.....katherine hepburn
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Offline gunsmith

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Re: stranded
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2014, 01:35:06 pm »
I don't need to go golfing.......I already know how to cuss.