Golf jokes
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson,
"You are spectacular; your name is synonymous with the game of golf.
You really know your way around the course.
What's your secret?"
Mickelson replied,
"The holes are numbered."
___________________________
A young man and a priest are golfing together.
At a short par-3 the priest asks,
"What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says,
"I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep
our head down."
__________________________
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron
standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did."
The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- put me down for a five."
___________________________
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing, and hit
his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could
hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing.
The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good
golfer?"
The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"
___________________________
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the
groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all
day, is it?"
