Author Topic: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to  (Read 419 times)

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Offline Grandma Bear

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How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« on: January 08, 2021, 01:24:08 pm »
I've been burning the candle at both ends for quite a long while now and finally have gotten to the place where I've accomplished so many things, but then in order to keep things rolling those accomplishments mean gathering more energy and momentum. I've found myself the last few days just DRAGGING to get the basics done and then I'm out of steam and can't make myself want to go out to the bee shed and get the equipment counted, cleaned and ready for the season. I have got to find some energy and motivation soon! How do y'all fight off the lack of energy and motivation when it hits...or am I the only one who has these spells?

Offline iddee

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2021, 03:47:21 pm »
A boyfriend will fix you right up.   :yes:  ;D ;D
“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein

Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2021, 04:46:29 pm »
A boyfriend will fix you right up.   :yes:  ;D ;D

I'm not sure about that Iddee...he would be more likely than not to slow me down. The last one did his best to run me to financial ruin and just wanted a free farmhand/housekeeper/babysitter with a checkbook.

One thing I've learned since becoming single 5 years ago is that the majority of fellas (at least the one's I've met) have no interest in being helpful to me...they prefer the reverse where I cater to them and pamper them and treat them like a king and have no interests or duties of my own. I've become my own person and it's going to take one hades of a man to make me want to share my life with them at all. All of that said, I'll be honest enough to say that I've only dated 4 fellas in the past 5 years....so maybe Mr helpful gentleheart will appear one day but I ain't holding my breath. I left my doormat for a man days behind along with my floor length skirts and inability to tell a fella to kick rocks.

I'm just trying to figure out how to keep pushing myself to get things done when the things keep multiplying but my time and energy dwindle.

Offline RAST

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2021, 08:28:08 am »
Well Grandma Bear, the difference is in, dare I say it, love. Love of you and not what you can provide.
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Online Bakersdozen

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2021, 05:58:36 pm »
I hope this doesn't come across as implying your old, because I am not!
There is no shame in scaling back on some things.  Perhaps it would be better to do a project well and enjoy the accomplishment rather than to drag yourself through several projects you resent doing.
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2021, 08:58:01 pm »
Well Grandma Bear, the difference is in, dare I say it, love. Love of you and not what you can provide.

True words RAST....haven't found a fella who is capable of that. There may be one out there, but I aint going hunting for him...I reckon if that's a thing that's meant to be in my life it will happen eventually.

Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2021, 09:09:12 pm »
I hope this doesn't come across as implying your old, because I am not!
There is no shame in scaling back on some things.  Perhaps it would be better to do a project well and enjoy the accomplishment rather than to drag yourself through several projects you resent doing.

LOL...I sure feel old lately Bakersdozen! I'm 50 so I guess that's fair. I actually have scaled back, rearranged, and even let go of a lot of things that I loved doing for lack of time. It's not that I'm resentful of the projects I've been working on, one was finishing school and then I started 2 businesses, and I'm the family Gypsy Granny Nanny so the kids and grands keep me hopping. I just feel like some days I can't find the motivation to get things done, maybe it's the season and lack of light, or maybe I just really need to get out and have some good old fashioned fun for a minute. It's hard telling, I am honestly just hoping someone has an idea of how to motivate myself to get ready for spring.

So what do y'all do to help when motivation and energy are lagging?

We are really hoping to expand our bee yards by at least 2 dozen colonies by the end of swarm season, and usually my daughter helps keep me motivated and on track in the winter when my energy flags and I push her in the summer when she complains about the "other bugs" and the snakes and the heat. This year she is expecting her 3rd little one (just found out it's a girl!! after 2 boys) and she is more out of steam than I am. I've tried giving myself motivational speeches in the mirror using her words and attitude and just found myself laughing and shaking my head at myself while my 9month old grandson laughed hysterically. I've tried drinking WAY more coffee than normal and then found that when I got out to the shed I couldn't concentrate on a single thing and keep dropping ALL of the things I was trying to straighten up.
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Offline RAST

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2021, 10:56:04 pm »
50! You are a young thing.
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Offline iddee

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2021, 06:25:24 am »
"We are really hoping to expand our bee yards by at least 2 dozen colonies by the end of swarm season,""

And who was the lady that thought her 14 y/o daughter had lost her mind for wanting a box of stinging insects for her birthday?   :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein
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Online Bakersdozen

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2021, 10:42:23 am »
Honestly Grandma, I have always though men and women use their time differently.  I will let you fill in with your own thoughts.
It's depressing times.  The news is grim, the days are short, it's cold, there's no place to escape, and so on.  Chin up!
If you want to get excited about beekeeping, there is an ongoing list of online events posted on this forum, under Calendar & Events.  Watching some of those great speakers should get you motivated about that.  Just talking to another beekeeper gets me excited about beekeeping.  That's one of the reasons I like this forum.
If it's about cleaning a shed, go to You Tube or something similar and watch before and after videos or cleaning gurus working their magic.  Watch an episode of Hoarders!  :D
Don't feel like you have to do it all in one day.  When you get tired, take a break! Start fresh the next day.
Booting dead weight out of your life should feel liberating!  Life is too short to be dragging a ball and chain.  When I was younger, it took me a while to figure out that if I was dating someone who wasn't Mr. Right, I would never find him.  (That's exactly what happened.)
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2021, 01:49:32 pm »
50! You are a young thing.

Well thank you  :-[

Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2021, 01:52:37 pm »
"We are really hoping to expand our bee yards by at least 2 dozen colonies by the end of swarm season,""

And who was the lady that thought her 14 y/o daughter had lost her mind for wanting a box of stinging insects for her birthday?   :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 :D  That would be me...who then became fascinated and then totally addicted to these precious little bugs. I was terrified of the bees...I'll never forget that magical day that you took us to one of your bee yards and surprised us with letting us play in a hive! I stood there wearing a dress and sandals and never felt more joyful as those bees greeted us so sweetly...and you giggling behind me telling us that all we needed was to get to know them  :D

Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2021, 02:01:09 pm »
Honestly Grandma, I have always though men and women use their time differently.  I will let you fill in with your own thoughts.
It's depressing times.  The news is grim, the days are short, it's cold, there's no place to escape, and so on.  Chin up!
If you want to get excited about beekeeping, there is an ongoing list of online events posted on this forum, under Calendar & Events.  Watching some of those great speakers should get you motivated about that.  Just talking to another beekeeper gets me excited about beekeeping.  That's one of the reasons I like this forum.
If it's about cleaning a shed, go to You Tube or something similar and watch before and after videos or cleaning gurus working their magic.  Watch an episode of Hoarders!  :D
Don't feel like you have to do it all in one day.  When you get tired, take a break! Start fresh the next day.
Booting dead weight out of your life should feel liberating!  Life is too short to be dragging a ball and chain.  When I was younger, it took me a while to figure out that if I was dating someone who wasn't Mr. Right, I would never find him.  (That's exactly what happened.)

Thank you Bakersdozen! I will check those out...I do watch a lot of videos and listen to some podcasts and then I think I am ready to get to it, but then somehow I run out of steam. I think you just gave me what I needed and wouldn't give myself... permission not to just attack it all at once and just take it piece by piece.

Booting that dead weight out was fabulous...working my tail off to remedy the financial loss wasn't fun but grandma taught me young that most often in life you pay for the lessons you learn and I did. As far as Mr. Right....if he stumbles along my way I'll be glad to meet him but I don't date, rarely go out, and live in a fairly isolated rural area, so he will have to be the one doing the searching  :D  I keep myself busy with work and grandbabees, if a fella is going to be a hinderance to me in either of those areas he's going to immediately be told to kick rocks and which direction. Who was it that said and ambitious woman must have a helpful partner or none at all?

Offline Wandering Man

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2021, 12:27:51 am »
You might want to check in with your doctor.  Make sure the heart and lungs are working well, and then talk a little bit depression.  Seeing a counselor or psychologist for a few sessions may hurt the pocketbook in the short run, but in the long run it may help you clear your head and find your motivation.
Never argue with drunks or crazy people
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2021, 09:57:37 am »
You might want to check in with your doctor.  Make sure the heart and lungs are working well, and then talk a little bit depression.  Seeing a counselor or psychologist for a few sessions may hurt the pocketbook in the short run, but in the long run it may help you clear your head and find your motivation.

Thank you for your kindness and concern Wandering Man, and I do mean that most sincerely.  I see my doc on the regular, I've developed some blood disorders that I try really hard not to let slow me down much. There are days that I can get very little done because of those alone. On the mental health side of it I was released from therapy, and still receive treatment for my PTSD...and the bees have been so much help for that. I appreciate that you consider the mental health of others...so many people fear mentioning such things as there is still a great deal of stigma attached to all of that in our society.

Honestly, I think Bakersdozen hit it on the head. I put a TON of pressure on myself to get things done all at once, now I feel ok with just going out and working on it for a little piece of time and then going back to it when my energy levels come back up. I think maybe I just needed to "hear" someone else give me that permission....sounds weird that I felt that I needed it but I am an odd little critter.
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Offline Wandering Man

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2021, 10:53:14 am »
Sometimes we need to be told that we are not Superman, or Superwoman.

I had to hear that from my doctor years ago after I had my first deep vein thrombosis ("who do you think you are?  Superman?  you are NOT going back to work!").  It was a shock to learn that I'm human.
Never argue with drunks or crazy people
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2021, 11:10:00 am »
Sometimes we need to be told that we are not Superman, or Superwoman.

I had to hear that from my doctor years ago after I had my first deep vein thrombosis ("who do you think you are?  Superman?  you are NOT going back to work!").  It was a shock to learn that I'm human.

 :D  I know that shocked feeling...my doc has told me at least a hundred times to put my cape away. 

Offline Wandering Man

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2021, 12:23:50 pm »

 :D  I know that shocked feeling...my doc has told me at least a hundred times to put my cape away.

 :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:
Never argue with drunks or crazy people
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Offline Grandma Bear

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2021, 10:39:11 am »

 :D  I know that shocked feeling...my doc has told me at least a hundred times to put my cape away.

 :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:

My daughter laughs constantly when i get grumpy about the "stupidity of being human".

Offline Gypsi

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Re: How do you keep pushing when you can't want to
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2021, 02:38:41 pm »
A boyfriend will fix you right up.   :yes:  ;D ;D

I'm not sure about that Iddee...he would be more likely than not to slow me down. The last one did his best to run me to financial ruin and just wanted a free farmhand/housekeeper/babysitter with a checkbook.

One thing I've learned since becoming single 5 years ago is that the majority of fellas (at least the one's I've met) have no interest in being helpful to me...they prefer the reverse where I cater to them and pamper them and treat them like a king and have no interests or duties of my own. I've become my own person and it's going to take one hades of a man to make me want to share my life with them at all. All of that said, I'll be honest enough to say that I've only dated 4 fellas in the past 5 years....so maybe Mr helpful gentleheart will appear one day but I ain't holding my breath. I left my doormat for a man days behind along with my floor length skirts and inability to tell a fella to kick rocks.

I'm just trying to figure out how to keep pushing myself to get things done when the things keep multiplying but my time and energy dwindle.

I totally agree Grandma. I kicked the last boyfriend to the curb in Feb 2011, 10 years ago, and focused on my business, home, took up beekeeping, grandkids, started collecting vehicles (that's a hoot), and yeah, I don't need someone looking for a nurse, waittress and housekeeper with a checkbook.   And at 50 you are really a young thing.  I am 61.

If you are tired, and spread too thin it is time to sort your priorities.

at the end of 2018 I quit doing removals, started stabilizing my hives, killing queens with nasty offspring and requeening, and I reduced my stress load. I also sold a few hives, I figured out that 3 was all my local forage would support, and that I didn't want a remote beeyard to have to drive to.   Then in 2019 I took the mean bees out of my neighbor's house and killed one more queen, replaced her with a good one. It was a free removal, I was pretty sure they came from my apiary, hot ones from a removal, and they were robbing my bees.  Then I retired from taking care of other peoples bee problems. A really nasty fall in October 2018 contributed to that, I dislocated several ribs, pulled my intercostal muscles and darn near broke my collarbone.  You have to limit what you do to what you can physically do and that does change as we get older.   And this is the best time to put on a pot of coffee and start listing what you want, today, and in 5 years
Fishkeeper first, beekeeper second
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